bittersweet mysteries: an introduction of some kind

w e l c o m e 

My name is Paige and I'm poor at introductions. 

There's too much passion locked within my bones to bore you with accomplishments.

I hate small talk.

I want to know you. 

I want to tear away the layers, cause time is short. 

I want to dream with you. 

I want to love you.

That is who I am. 

I vowed to keep a blog when I turned 25. 

I have spent too much of my life, bleeding crappy cursive onto pages no one will ever see.

Lying on the carpet, praying through the hours of the night, pleading for another to say, "me too".

In this blip of history, I have learned that life is but a vapor. But even more, it's a great treasure, a bittersweet mystery that is undeniably precious and worth selling all you have to obtain. 

So let's pick up our shovels and start digging. 

I hope to share life with you.

I hope to share death with you. 

Because that's the great paradox. 

We only live, when we learn to die. 

In 2016 and 2017, I traveled the world for 11 months and shared life in 11 countries... 11 unique fingerprints of God. Like a mustard seed, the gospel planted deep within me, and broke through the fallow ground of my hardened heart. The Sermon on the Mount came alive to me. The Jesus speaking, was not the Jesus I knew. I awakened and I cannot be the same. I refuse. 

I must learn the Way of Jesus and make disciples or it all means nothing. 

I must learn to love with every fiber of my being, and not expect anything in return. 

I must cast out the crippling lies that say I'm delusional to hope for more. 

This was all settled on the cross, proven by an empty tomb and resurrected Jesus. 

So why do we keep running back to our graves? 

It is a bittersweet mystery, I tell you. 
These days, I wrestle with discernment.

Where do I end, and where does He begin?

Do I have the mind of Christ? or

Am I a child of Hell? 

I believe God speaks to me. 
But I also get it wrong sometimes. 

It leaves me shaken and breathless...

but my hope remains because

he 

is 

good

I like to say that God gave me a compass. 

Not a map, detailing the specifics of our partnership.

But a compass. A True North.

I must be still for the compass to recalibrate.

But I also must keep moving forward in the direction he shows (or I think best). 

Where am I going next?

That's a great question. 
I have no money and no plan. 

But I'm friends with the One who has everything and lacks nothing.

So do I. 

So do I.